Introduction

Many people who became involved with pornographic material find themselves stuck in a web that they struggle to break free from. They may be so tightly entangled that they are unable to reform by themselves. We, as Christians, are called to bear one another’s burdens. This article seeks to suggest how we can support or intervene when some of our friends have become victims of pornographic addiction. I do realize that pornography affects both males and females, but when writing in third person I revert to using the masculine form. This article is ended with a section on how we can intervene, in other words, help our friends who are prey to pornography and its destructive effects.   

History of Pornography

Pornography is defined as “writings or pictures dealing with sexual matters in a manner intended to incite lust” (Thorndike & Barnhart, 1997). A more concise definition suggests that it is the “representation of sexual behavior in books, pictures, statues, motion pictures, and any other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement” (Jenkins, 2006). The modern-day subjects what is considered to be pornography to culture. For example, in Hindu temples, there are some paintings and statues depicting sexual behavior which Westerners might consider as pornography. In some cultures in South Africa, the tradition provides for females to be topless. Once again, an American family on holiday in South Africa watching the News may find it offensive when the SABC is broadcasting from the rural lands of KwaZulu-Natal and these females appear live on television. In ancient times, depictions of sexual behavior in the context of religion were very common. “Elaborate depictions of sexual intercourse – pictures notionally designed to provide sex education for medical professionals, courtesans, and married couples – are present from at least the 17^th century” (Jenkins, 2006). With the inception of new technologies such as the printing press, pornographic works started to be published as a consumer’s good. Pornographic shops opened in numbers so much so that Holywell Street in London alone contains more than 50 pornographic shops. Google Maps indicate that in the city of Cape Town there are 14 Adult World branches within a radius of 32 kilometers (note that this is but only one franchise). The 19^th century gave birth to the invention of photography and videos and soon thereafter entered the Internet that carried this media into every home where there is access to Internet.

The reality of pornography today

With its anonymous availability today, pornography is enslaving millions of men and women. In his presentation on “The Chosen (9): How to live without sex (for a while),” Dr. Dwight K. Nelson (2007) provides the following statistics:

The National Coalition for the Protection of Children reports that 25% of all internet searches are related to pornography

There 1,3 million pornographic websites, logged on to by 30 million people on a daily basis, which makes it a $3 billion industry

About 8 % of emails contained pornographic material

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reports that the average age of first internet exposure to pornography is 11, and the largest consumer of internet porn is the 12-17 age group

70% of sexual advances over the internet happen when the youngsters are on a home computer

Pornography is all around us – in some cases not as explicit as others. Just a few years ago, Television channels used to wait until late at night when assumedly the kids would be asleep, before it shows pornographic or at least borderline pornographic scenes. These days even adverts aired right throughout daytime are so sexual in nature. Many of the series’ today always have couples “hooking up in bed.” The well-known Soap, “Days of our lives,” almost has a sexual scene in each episode. It is almost unrealistic not to come into contact with pornography at one stage or another.

How pornography affects us

One of the major problems with pornography is that it addictive. When you watch those first few pornography videos or pictures you will want to keep looking for pornography. It may become a regular part of your life so much so that you become unable to leave. So you start watching pornography more and more. The more and more we sin, the softer we grow towards that particular sin. Sooner or later we start to make excuses for our sin when we fail to see the magnitude of our sin. The same with pornography – what used to disgust you, now excites you. As you continue to watch pornography, desensitization occurs. This is a phenomenon whereby you become numb to the images you see. You start off with one form of pornography, until that no longer stimulates you. Later you start looking for more extreme forms of pornography such as rape and beastiality. You now “pursue harder and harder forms of it, in order to reach the same level of stimulation” (Ley, 2014). Eventually, the porn addict is in danger of acting out the very sexual violence that he witnessed on his computer screen.

Nouthetic Counseling

Nouthetic Counseling can be used as means of intervention against this struggle of pornography. “Nouthesis is when a concerned person confronts someone with a desire to see change in the confronted person” (Musvosvi, 2017). Nouthesis assumes our sinful nature as the source of our problems. It focuses on what needs to be done to correct a certain behavior and what needs to be done in the future to avoid the problem. This approach is Bible based and maintains that the problem can be solved by following God’s guidelines and instructions in His written Word.

Biblical context for pornography

The compound word, pornography, does not appear in the Bible, but the word πορνος (pornos) does. It appears at least 10 times in the New Testament (Moulton, 1978). Throughout the New Testament, the word is interpreted and translated as fornicator. Some texts also distinguish between fornication and adultery.  “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually (πορνοι) immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals,” (1 Corinthians 6:9 Free Translation). Extramarital sex is generally accepted as adultery. All other forms of sexual intercourse not within marriage, as defined by God to be between husband and wife, is known as fornication. This includes premarital sex, homosexual sex and pornographic sex.

The Seventh-day Adventist Church and Pornography

The Seventh-day Adventist Church exists as a global community. As such one can expect many cultural differences. The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists is made of thirteen Divisions. Within these thirteen Divisions exists a number of diversities. However, this diverse congregation is joined together through their unique understanding of the Word of God. Though some issues are subject to culture, the Church, as a whole, stands united with regards to certain issues – including pornography. While it is debating that pornography is subject to culture, the Seventh-day Adventist Church (2010) condemns pornography in all forms and uses and identified these four problems regarding pornography:   

It is destructive to marital relationships, thus subverting God’s design that husband and wife cleave so closely to each other that they become, symbolically, “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

It is demeaning, defining a woman (and in some instances a man) not as a spiritual-mental-physical whole, but as a one-dimensional and disposable sex-object, thus depriving her of the worth and the respect that is her due and right as a daughter of God.

It is desensitizing to the viewer/reader, callousing the conscience and “perverting the perception,” thus producing a “depraved person” (Romans 1:22, 28, NEB).

It is exploitative, pandering to prurience, and basally abusive, thus contrary to the Golden rule, which insists that one treat others as one wishes to be treated (Matthew 7:12). Particularly offensive is child pornography. Said Jesus: “If anyone leads astray even one child who believes in me, he would be better off thrown into the depths of the sea with a millstone hung around his neck” (see Matthew 18:6).

Intervention Strategies

In line with the Seventh-day Adventist Church’s Total Member Involvement (TMI) initiative, the Nouthesis recognizes that “all Christians have potential to help other Christians” (Musvosvi, 2017). The guidelines suggested hereafter are therefore appropriate for anybody who is concerned whether it is a counsellor, mentor, parent or friend.

Never go in

As mentioned before, one of the problems with pornography is that it is addictive. Dr. Dwight K. Nelson (2007) emphasizes that the best way out of pornography is to never go in. Here we need to instruct our children regarding the dangers of pornography from a very young age in an attempt to reduce their curiosity and prevent them from exploring. A letter written by Aaron Anderson, titled “Dear son, what I wish you knew about pornography,” went viral very recently. In this letter, Anderson (n.d.) acknowledges that because of its accessibility, he probably won’t be able to prevent his son from seeing pornography but highlights a few things he wants his son to know when he sees pornography. He alludes to the fact that pornography is fake, and the people involved are acting. Sex, real intimacy between husband and wife, is not at all what pornography describes. “It is not as loud, wild, and vulgar. And it’s not supposed to be that way, either.”      

Confession and Repentance

If the person you are concerned about is consuming pornography, they may well be addicted already. In this case it becomes hard to break the cycle and escape. Like any other sinner, before you can do anything else, you may want to get the counselee to confess to God that they have been wrong and encourage them to pray to God for the Holy Spirit to lead them to repentance. Along with pornography come feelings of guilt, shame and reproach. We are to assure the counselee that God still offers love and forgiveness and has already made provision for us. He paid the debt for our sin with His dear life on Calvary. The gravity of our sin can only be seen in light of the cross of Calvary. Once the sinner is led to see his sinfulness and the results thereof, he must have a sincere desire to reform. It is written that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 New American Standard Bible).

Guard your heart

The wisest man who ever lived wrote: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 New International Version). He also suggests a way in which we may guard our hearts: “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways,” (Proverbs 23:26 NIV). With a heart surrendered and stayed upon Jesus, one may delight in His ways which is pure and righteous.

Control what you think about

Pornography takes over the avenues of the mind. It produces wishful and lustful thinking. Christ Himself declared that if we’ve just looked at a women with lust we have already committed adultery with her in our hearts (Matthew 5:27-28). When addicted to pornography, you begin to look at others purely as sexual objects. This may even happen unconsciously. The saying goes that you can’t prevent a bird from flying over your head but you can prevent it from building its nest on your head. Further the Apostle Paul counsels, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

Gouge out your eye

The words of Jesus as recorded in Matthew 5:29 (NIV), “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown in hell.” Jesus did not really intent for us to gouge out our eyes and cut off our arms. He says this to emphasize the extent to which we ought to go to protect ourselves from temptation. Some ways in which the counselee may gouge out his eye is to limit his internet bundle and perhaps place the computer screen in such a way that passers-by may also be also to see the screen. If the content from social media tempts him to search pornography he may want to limit his engagement on social media. As mentioned before, some of the programs that air on Television aren’t necessarily pornography, but are very sexual in content. We should guard against such programs as they open the doorway to temptation.

Surround yourself with friends

Gary R. Collins (2007) in his book titled Christian Counseling identifies loneliness as a catalyst to pornography addiction. I would suppose that most people watch pornography when they’re alone. While the counselee is still weak against pornographic addiction, he should be encouraged to surround himself with family and friends as often as is possible. The Bible warns that bad company corrupts character (1 Corinthians 15:33). So you should advise your counselee to consider his choice of associates. He should surround himself with people who are committed to staying sexually pure. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24,25 NIV). In addition to good friends, you may advise the counselee to be accountable to a trustworthy friend. He should confide with his friend every time he gave in to the temptation and they may pray together. Telling a friend may be embarrassing, but this is exactly the point. It could be used as a motivation not give in to the temptation.

Be mindful of Judgement

“He said with a loud voice, ‘Fear God and give Him glory, because the hour of judgement has come. Worship Him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water” (Revelations 14:7 NIV). Make your counselee aware of the investigative judgement happening in Heaven right now. When he realizes what is taking place right now, he may well want to reconsider what he is doing at any given time.

Pray, pray, pray

It is not easy to break the bonds of pornography. The problem with sin is that it is attractive, and we actually want to do it. Thankfully we know that “God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” I cannot over emphasize how important it is to seek and develop a relationship with Jesus, because He is our ONLY defence against any sin. Without Jesus, all the former guidelines suggested will be in vain. When the tempter comes, the counselee should call on the mighty name of Jesus. Heaven is always ready to assist us in all of our struggles and challenges. Counsellors together with their counselees should pray for the renewing and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit to come upon them. The Holy Spirit will imbue us the power to overcome sin and place in us the desire to put on Christ’s righteousness.